Emmy

Emmy is sick. She doesn't look sick. She looks perfectly healthy. She is a beautiful, sweet 7 month old baby girl, with chubby arms and legs, beautiful skin and eyes, a steady gaze and a smile that melts your heart. She is my granddaughter, and the only child of my daughter and her husband. Today I sat in the hospital with my daughter and her mother-in-law, watching all the nurses and doctors one by one walking away puzzled by Emmy. My daughter is barely holding herself together as she goes through test after test with Emmy, comforting her baby as best she can. I sit quietly, trying not to watch her too much, trying to just be there if she needs me. There is a precious moment when she comes to sit beside me and lays her tired head on my shoulder. She stays for a moment. My baby, letting me comfort her for a few brief moments before she goes back to comforting her own daughter. Emmy had pneumonia at Christmas. Even before the pneumonia she never ate what I would consider well. 1-2 ounces at a time, every 2 or 3 hours, well past the time when she should have been eating more, less often. Since the pneumonia, she has refused, most adamantly, to eat and has gotten worse as each week passes. There have been several days when she has taken in a mere 8 or 9 ounces in an entire day. Erin and Rob have done everything to get her to eat, even feeding her in the night when she is mostly asleep to try to get more liquid into her body. They have been successful in part. She has not lost weight, but she has not gained either. After working with the doctors and going to a pediatric gastrointestinal specialist, Emmy has ended up in the hospital with a feeding tube, and no one has any idea what is causing her problem. We have all had a hard time accepting that something is physically wrong with this beautiful child. At first, it seemed that she was just off her food because of being sick. Then, possibly just some weird little phase she was going through. Now it has been long enough, and the problem has become severe enough, that it has slapped us all in the face. It has been interesting to watch the doctors and nurses go through the same difficulty with grasping that there is a problem with Emmy. One of the specialists that came in to see her today was called in to determine if there was an aversion problem, or some issue with Emmy's mouth. You could see the shock in her face when she realized that she too was going to be unable to get this child to eat. At least 3 different medical professionals stood outside Emmy's crib today, gazed into her face and made a comment about being completely baffled by what was wrong. My hope and prayer is that the source of the problem will be found and that it is something that is easily controlled. I will not allow myself to think of my fears, at least not while I am with my daughter. Instead we will find things to laugh at, play with the baby, talk about what we are going to do tomorrow. Most of all, we will love each other and Emmy through this difficult time.